and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
