oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
