im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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