I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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