all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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