I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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