Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
