jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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