You smell like a Billy Joel song
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
