bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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