So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize