Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So here I am, sexting at work.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
