I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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