I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
