so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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