You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
