would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
