did you get engaged???
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
