porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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