she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your penis caused this!
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