i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
