Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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