When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Panties = found
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
