You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
