What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
