He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
