On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
