i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
