yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
