how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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