the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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