Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
