i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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