i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
