She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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