4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
P.S. I can't hear my feet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize
