capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
