all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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