Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
