my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
