There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize