can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
