her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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