I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
