I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can I color on your dick again?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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