His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize