Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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