And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
