it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
