Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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