Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
