Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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