So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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