i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
