Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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