dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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