Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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