i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
