I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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