Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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