Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
