Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
