Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
