If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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