i would punch a child for taco bell
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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